Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Buying a perfect groom

Sale, sale, sale! buy one, get 50% off, seasonal discount up to 70% . Yeah, yeah, you got it right. It's a season of discounts and sale. You can avail anything you want at anytime but of course *conditions apply*. Search, select and buy from any nearby market or just surf the net then click the mouse and buy what you want virtually. Wait, wait, you people must have misinterpreted me, I am not talking about the ongoing sale in the mushrooming malls, but the sale of grooms in our developing country since time immemorial.

You don't believe me? You ought to trust me on this. However, you need to shell out those hard earned savings of your parents and yours too to get what you want (here comes that *conditions apply*).

Well, the other day this friend of mine was surfing the net with full concentration. She was too lost on it that she couldn't notice my presence in the room at all. Damn! She was surfing some matrimonial site.

Reena! You getting married? I shouted.

Shocked at my presence and shout, she scolded me and said no to my question.

Why were you surfing that flashy matrimonial site then? I curiously inquired.

Obviously searching for my perfect groom, was her reply.

Totally a gone case she is, I thought. Yes, I was confused as this newly schizophrenic friend first said that she was not getting married and then told me she was searching for a groom that too a perfect one. I mean what she was up to with man, only God knew.

Holding two hot coffee cups in her hands, she told me as she gave away my cup that she needs to find her soul-mate soon.

Look dear, I am 22 turning 23 in few days. As you know that I hail from such a place that finding a perfect groom is a Herculean task. Worst it is when one has so many boundations on the lines of caste, community, creed, profession and so on and so forth. And I being a teacher I want my to-be hubby to be well-educated as well. However, it's too tough a task to find a perfect combination of rich yet qualified, same caste but different gotra (sub-caste), similar community handsome man in today's time.

You know what, 50 lakhs is the rate of a PCS officer nowadays, she told me with a drooping face.

I said, “Excuse me, what do you mean by the rate?”

Ignoring my question, she told me that she has decided to opt for a teacher instead as it would cost her less. “You know, I always wanted to marry a civil servant but guess I have to compromise,” she told me sadly .

“20 lakhs is a huge amount dear, I can get a lecturer husband instead of a PCS one in just 30 lakhs,” she further told me.

Cases of infanticide, female foeticide, burning females to death and the like perhaps have surged due to the above, I pondered.

“So you were asking about the rates?”finally she remembered that she owed me an answer.

“Yes?”I replied enthusiastically.

“As I already told you one needs to arrange 50 lakhs to get a PCS officer but if you want an IAS officer then you ought to shell out another 20-30 lakhs from your parents' saving accounts,” she told me.

“40 lakhs for a doctor groom, 30 lakhs for a lecturer, same for the software engineer, 15 lakhs for a primary teacher, 10 for a shopkeeper....,” and she continued listing the rates.

“Wait, wait, wait, what about a journalist hubby? It's nowhere in your list,” I asked ( I ought to ask this for the obvious reason, hey don't take it otherwise, I am talking about my profession here)

"No Idea,” she failed to tell me.

"Get Idea,” I told. She told me she loves Airtel ( poor joke)

By the way it's so embarrassing that people don't consider our profession, journalists as a serious one. I mean what the hell yaar...Many Reenas are searching for IAS officers, doctors, teachers among others but no journalists...ammm...sad, I am now.

After searching several colourful matrimonial sites, finally Reena decided to zero down a lecturer as her 'perfect groom'.

By the way, forgot to tell you all that she got a 5% discount on her hubby as she is a platinium card-holder of The matrimonial site offered to negotiate the groom's price with the latter's family.

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  1. nice writeup; that sounds great; but that isn't a new1; here, the place where i stay, pune, itz costlier; ias/pcs hubby cost 1cr, soft. engg. hubby 0.75cr, doc hubby 0.75cr, engg(other than soft.) hubby 0.5cr, lecturer hubby 0.5cr, Police Sub-Inspector hubby 0.75cr(surprisingly correct!!!!!), and the rest is story....!!!! plz write more...!!!!

  2. thank u for liking my write-up...great to know the new rates...

  3. even i was not aware of the rates but the same case which you have written here happened in the case of one of my frenz who is a software engg, who demanded a hefty demand of dowry(0.75cr) from the gal whom he was supposed to get married who was also in the same profession and denied him to pay a single penny.....a big story...!!!